Thursday, July 16, 2009

How YOU Doin'?

In my mind, I imagine this asked in the style of Joey Tribbiani of Friends. It is a question I hear often, and I never quite know what to say. My response is usually based on who is asking, how many children are lobbying for my attention, and what level of composure I am capable of mustering.
I am glad people ask. It is comforting and encouraging to know people care. It also serves as a sort of emotional barometer for me. How AM I doing, anyway? Sometimes in the midst of daily life, I forget to take inventory of my feelings. Catharsis works miracles in the processing department.
This week, I'm starting to feel...well, adjusted, I guess. I know that is a good thing, but I hate it at the same time. It feels wrong to be whole without my other half. But they weren't kidding about time standing still for no one. My life allows very little time for self-pity, though I'm not above squeezing it in when I can. Instead, my focus is on growth. I have goals that I am working toward over the span of the deployment (and hopefully thereafter) : physical, financial, spiritual,domestical (fake word, but I love it). My theory is that accomplishing something positive negates some of the negative...you know, kind of sticking it to the terrorists.
What about the kids? I am blessed with two very flexible children. While they love Marc and I deeply, they could really care less if either of us is present, at least for a period of time. A lesser man might be offended that his five year old would rather go play with his friends than take a call from his daddy in Iraq. But make no mistake, his presence is missed, though the kids may not always have the emotional maturity to express it.
And Marc? He is mostly unflappable. Not superhuman, but strong. He is also motivated by goals for his military career, fitness, and spiritual walk. And it seems like 18 summers in South Florida may have given him a leg up on the average soldier when it comes to tolerating 115 degree temperatures in the desert. Who would have thought?

1 comment:

  1. awe
    it feels wrong to feel whole without my other half
    sounds like the beginnings of a great book or song, or blog or something
    hope to see you soon

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