Nickel Ride

I had my first UH-60 Blackhawk flight today. Picture is of my IP (instructor pilot) and my stick buddy (yes, that's what you actually call the person who you share an instructor with) walking out to the aircraft. If you're familiar with Army helicopters, you may note the Apache, which is the aircraft immediately to the right of the guys. I could almost hear her calling my name as I walked to my aircraft, which was literally 20 yards in front of her, and as I climbed in I could feel her two big sexy eyes staring at me with judgment for having left her for another, more catfish-shaped woman.

Last night I couldn't sleep. Too much anticipation. This morning through academics I felt like a giddy little school-girl. I know we learned something about hydraulics, but I couldn't tell you for sure what it was. Outside, the day was absolutely horrible from a weather standpoint. It was probably in the low forties, but the wind was howling and there was a spitting rain in the air. If we had been scheduled to do anything but the bare minimum maneuvers we would not have been able to go. Fortunately, this nickel ride consists mostly of ground taxiing and a few hovering maneuvers, and a couple of traffic patterns if you're lucky (the "nickel ride" is the name given to your first flight in any aircraft - not sure the genesis of that term but for your very first nickel ride in flight school, tradition dictates you find a nickel from your birth year and give it to your instructor prior to the flight).

I was admittedly a little shaky for the first couple minutes of ground taxiing, and the first time I pulled up to a hover, there was a noticeable wobble. All of the controls are the same from the Apache as far as what they do (a GROSS oversimplification would be to say that there's an "up and down stick" and a "which way do I want to go stick"), but how they do it is noticeably different, with different amounts of input required and different feedback in the controls when you put inputs in. All of the points of reference are different as well, as aside from being in a completely different cockpit, I'm sitting about 5 feet lower, and 3-8 feet closer to the front of the aircraft. The fact that I can look over and see the other pilot is weird as well. In the Apache the 2 pilots sit front and back rather than side-to-side (a fact which the Apache community interprets as a sign that Blackhawk guys like to hold hands). A few seconds into hovering flight, though, I was pretty well locked in.

Next was a couple of flight system demonstrations at a hover with my instructor on the controls, one of which to be honest made me wonder whether or not I would actually make it through to be able to write this blentry. Apparently I wasn't the only one who thought that particular maneuver was...we'll say "interesting", because the tower came on over the radio after we did it and said, "Just want to verify that you're 'ops normal'." In other words, "Is everybody ok over there." Apparently we were. Flight continues.

At one point, I look over to the side of the airfield and notice that a minivan has pulled over on the side of the road to watch us. Nothing strokes the ego quite like a reminder that you have a job that's so cool, people stop what they're doing just to watch you.

Then my first traffic pattern came. Takeoff was solid. A little forward ground run before lift-off due to the hawk's increased forward-tilting rotor system, but no biggie. Will compensate next time. In the traffic pattern, I was solid. Plus or minus 50 feet for the most part on altitude, airspeed within 10 knots or so. Within standard on the first iteration, which is very good. Coming around for my first approach, I was starting to feel in the zone. Everything makes sense. I think this must be what musicians feel like when they're playing jazz by ear. My IP is quiet, except for the occasional, "You're doing good." At the bottom, landing is almost unnoticeable. We're exactly at our intended touchdown point about 2 feet to the left of the center line of the runway, but I'll chalk that up to the fact that in the Apache I sit in the very middle of the aircraft and in the 60, I'm oh, about 2 feet to the right. No biggie. My IP looks at me and says, "Well, that was basically a perfect approach. If I told you anything right now I would just be making something up for the sake of not admitting that it was perfect." I make a joke about how he clearly has gone to a different instructor school than all my IP's in the past and we laugh, but my brain is still processing the perfect approach, and trying to convince myself that I'm not as awesome as I think I am right now. One traffic pattern later and I was done. My stick buddy had a good flight, I think. I'll be sitting in the back throughout the course while he flies, which again is different, since the Apache only has two seats.

I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities over the next few weeks for my awesomeness to be called into question. I am admittedly a really good pilot, especially when it comes to flying, and I don't mind telling you that every IP I've flown with has told me so. The funny thing about flying helicopters, though, is that just like those jazz players, no matter how good you are you can always improve, and every flight I have multiple opportunities to wish I had done something better. What I won't have is any more nickel rides and as nickel rides go, this one was everything I could have hoped for.

After we shut down, we tied the aircraft down and headed in to the hangar to fill out the logbook, turn in the keys, etc. My former flame was still sitting on the ramp, now watching me walk away. I felt like her disdain had been replaced by maybe a little sadness, but tempered with underpinnings of pride. We wouldn't be spending time together like we used to. I've moved on, but not necessarily to bigger and better things, just different things. In this case it's true: it's not her, it's me.

Still, we both know she'll always be my first.





Getting ready for our first flights (first picture is a fellow student, middle is my IP, third is another IP with his 2 students:

The Dad-Hawk

Wesley got a balloon helicopter at Chick-fil-a family night the other day. He immediately began plans to draw in some realistic features: two doors, a window in the front for Daddy to see out, and some detailed shading on the blades. The final touch was a fitting name on the side of the "aircraft" (ha! get it? it is a balloon filled with air and an art project/craft! see what I did there?) After some help with the spelling, Wesley christened the helicopter The Dad Hawk, a rather witty derivative of the Blackhawk that Marc will be flying.

Lights, webcam, action!

Before Marc left, we purchased a webcam. In less than a week, I think we have already gotten our money's worth out of it. It may not be surprising to hear that he has internet access while he is training in the States, but we are also incredibly grateful that he will most likely have a connection in Iraq. Being able to see the people you love while you talk to them makes a tremendous difference. Without the modern marvel of webcam, there would not have been this...

Absence makes the heart grow ___

...well, a lot of things. I believe the saying fills that blank with the word fonder. I think Marc and I have moved a level beyond fondness. When I was in college, I took a trip to Haiti with a woman who had been married for 30 years and was spending her first night away from her husband. I remember thinking then how odd/awesome that was, but at that point I had no idea how different my life would be from hers. When Marc joined the Army in 2000, we had already practiced being separated. We were high school sweethearts, and he was a year ahead of me in school, so his first year in college, I stayed behind in Florida. Our first Army separation was for basic training/AIT; he was gone for about 6 months. I was in my senior year of college, and we didn't have any children. After training, he spent one weekend each month and two weeks each summer in Kentucky. When he went through flight school (the first time), he was in Alabama without us for 3 months at the beginning and 3 months at the end of that training. Wesley was only four months when he left and 18 months when we moved to Nashville. Our next separation (and probably the most challenging to date) was when he went back to Alabama for Longbow school. Catelynn was 4 months old, and Wesley was almost 4 years old. Marc was supposed to be gone for four months...not a small amount of time. In the end, he was gone for eight months! I won't lie. It was horrible. But possibly good practice for what is ahead? Going into this year-long deployment, we have, by my calculations, spent a total of approximately two years of our ten year marriage apart. I can't begin to describe (or even comprehend) what effect that has had on our relationship. In my experience, absence makes the heart grow. Period.

Snail Mail

For the next 6 weeks, you can reach Marc at the following address:
CW2 Marc Acton
Eastern ARNG Aviation Training Site
UH-60 AQC 09-004
c/o of DMVA
Annville, PA 17003
Just in case anyone has an itch to write a REAL letter. :)

Getting Ink

Fourth tattoo, although the first three are co-located. As you can see, it was an interesting dude who was the artist.

In Exodus 3:12, God had just told Moses to go rescue His people from slavery. Moses' reaction was a feeling of inadequacy, so he asked God, "Who am I, that I should go?" Basically, "Why me?"

God's reply was, "I will be with you," reminding Moses that who Moses was wasn't important, but the fact that God was going with him was everything. As a reminder to me that my feelings of inadequacy in the face of huge challenges means nothing if God is with me, the tattoo reads, "I will be with you" in Hebrew.

Staying Home With Your Kids Is Like Eating Cake

Three reasons why:

1. Eating cake and spending time with your kids are both at the top of the list of their respective categories ("Activities That Sustain Your Body", and "Ways To Pass the Time," respectively).
2. If done to excess, both can be detrimental to your health. Too much cake causes enlarged fat cells and occasionally vomitting. Too much kid time causes enlarged anger cells and occasionally emotional vomitting.
3. Even after periods of excessive consumption, exceptionally small amounts of abstinence are required to reintroduce the craving for more. Had too much cake for breakfast? Surely you'll be ready for another piece by lunchtime. Spent the last 10 months spending nearly every day with your children and just left them this afternoon? Turns out you'll be jonesing for a kid fix by dinner.

Pleasantly Paradoxical

As I mentioned in my original "start at the beginning" post, I've been looking for a full-time job for the last 10 months. I applied to literally hundreds of jobs with no luck. Eventually I settled on the teaching profession to focus my efforts on, but I quickly learned that nearly all full-time teaching positions are filled during the spring or early summer months. Eventually, the stay-at-home dad thing just got really old.

Looking back, though, the last 10 months I spent mostly at home have given me the opportunity to spend time with Wesley and Catelynn that I would have never otherwise been able to. You could say this was God's way of forcing me to cram next year's quality time into this last year. :) I don't know what you're experience with God's working in your life has been, but it certainly fits into God's modus operandi with our family to say that the thing that has caused me the most grief over the last year was in reality a HUGE gift, and something that will allow me to make it through my time away without wondering if I will return to my home with two kids that don't know me. Isn't it funny how He works?

A Real American Hero

When Marc found out that he would be deploying to Iraq, one of the first orders of business was talking to Wesley. When Marc told him that he would be going away for a while, Wesley was initially disappointed and asked why. Marc explained that there is a place where there are some bad guys, and he and his friends from the Army need to go and help the good guys. Wesley's obvious response: "Do the bad guys have helmets?" (As random as it seems, this question is inspired by his keen observation that all of the racers in Speed Racer have different helmets.) Marc explained that some of the bad guys wore funny hats called turbans. Wesley requested that when he shoots the bad guys (oh dear!), that he land his helicopter, get the turban, and bring it back for a souvenir. Marc suggested that perhaps this would not be allowed. As a revised request, Wesley asked that he land the helicopter and just take a picture of the turban. Perfectly reasonable. Wesley's next pressing question: "Do the bad guys have bombs?" Due to his recent exposure to Super Mario Brothers (the original NES version!), bombs have become quite fascinating. Marc did not find it necessary to share that the Iraqis do not use the bombs to kill flying turtles!

Let's Start at the Very Beginning.

Before getting into the story itself, here's a piece of information that might make it make more sense: the Army Reserves and the National Guard are mostly the same thing in that they both are parts of the US Army, and they both require you to go to drill one weekend every month and two weeks during the summer. The biggest difference is that the reserves is run at the national level, and Guard units are all run by the states. So the TN National Guard belongs to the governor of TN. As such, Guard units are also much more likely to be mobilized stateside for disaster cleanup, emergencies, etc. You would think that because the Reserves and the Guard are so similar in nature and function they would be "friends" but that's definitely not the case. They're separate enough that there's almost no connection and leaving one to go to the other is a pretty big deal.

So with that prelude...In the middle of January, I requested that my Army Reserve unit release me so that I could join a TN Army National Guard unit in Smyrna, TN which is very close to my house. I've been a part of the Ft. Knox reserve unit for almost nine years, having served first as an Apache helicopter mechanic, then as an Apache helicopter pilot. Yesterday I found out that my request to the new unit had been approved.

For the last couple of years, I've had to drive 2 1/2 hours to get to my unit at Ft. Knox, which I've been doing twice a month or so. I'm able to work basically as much as I want at my unit (and get paid), which has been great for us, but because of the distance, I'm having to spend extra money on hotels, food, gas, etc since it's not close enough to stay at home while I'm working there. I've also been spending a lot of extra time away from Michelle and the kids. Moving to a closer unit would remove all of those issues. I'm also leaning more and more towards staying in the Reserves until I can retire, so my current unit at Ft. Knox is not a long-term option for that. I needed something closer. The kicker is, when I started looking into changing units, I found out that the unit in Smyrna is getting deployed to Iraq in May. The first response, of course, was that we should definitely NOT try to change units to one that's getting deployed. The more we thought about it, however, we started to wonder if maybe God was presenting this as an opportunity.

Here's kind of what we were thinking:

1. I had to move to the closer unit eventually.
2. If I stay in the reserves at all, I am certain to get deployed. My current unit is slated to deploy in the summer of 2010. So we're basically in a deploy-now or deploy-later scenario. For several reasons, deploying now makes more sense for our family. For one thing, I don't have a full-time job to have to leave and come back to. I'm hoping to get a full-time teaching job, and getting deployed in the middle of a school year would be complicated, and not just for me.
3. Catelynn (and to a lesser degree, Wesley) is young enough that my leaving shouldn't be a major emotional issue. The older they get, though, the more difficult an extended absence can be for them, and for Michelle having to deal with being on her own with them.
4. Many of you know that I've been without a full-time job for about 10 months or so (I've been getting paid for spending a lot of extra time at my Ft. Knox unit). We've been ok financially, but are getting closer and closer to the point where we would not be. We felt like this could be God's way of giving us an opportunity financially. While deployed, I will make pretty good money, and it will all be tax free. While we wouldn't make a decision like this just for money, the fact that it would supply just what we need right when we need it certainly fits with God's way of operating in our lives.

So that's where our hearts were a month ago when we decided to put in the request for the switch. You should also know that the request was almost certain to get turned down. Within the last year, the Reserves spent well over $1 million to train me on the new Apache helicopter. When that happens, they're supposed to give soldiers what's called a "Military Service Obligation" (MSO) which basically means you can't get out for X amount of years (usually at least three). So we thought, "Well, it's not going to go through, but we think this might be what God wants us to do, so we'll just put it in and see if God continues to open the doors." Well, you know the end of the story, so obviously He did.

The first and most significant thing I found out was that for some reason, my official record was showing that I had no Military Service Obligation. Nobody exactly knows why. But even without an MSO, my request still had to go through several levels of my chain of command, all the way to the one-star General who's the Commander of the whole Reserves, and at each level I expected it to get turned down but it did not. At any one of those levels, they could have said, "Hey, this guy's record is wrong - he should have a MSO," and corrected the mistake and turned down the request. But they did not.

So that's how Michelle and I get here, looking at a fast-approaching deployment, knowing well the tremendous difficulty that goes along with that, knowing all the disappointments that surround being gone for a year (missing my sister's wedding, missing life's milestones with the kids, etc) and actually believing that it's a gift from God. It will certainly be a difficult year, and we will be relying on you all for support (especially for Michelle and the kids), and there will surely be plenty of times that we forget how much of a "gift" it is, but at least for now we rejoice in the fact that God's hand continues to be on our lives. What happens next is, from April 6-May 16 I'll be in Ft. Indiantown Gap, Pennsylvania to learn a new aircraft (UH-60 Blackhawk). After that I'll come home for probably just a day or two, then meet up with my unit in Ft. Sill, Oklahoma. From there I'll be actually shipping out to Iraq probably some time at the beginning of June. I'll be gone somewhere around 12 months total.

There are so many complicated emotions involved in being deployed and being married to somebody who's deployed, so I would ask that you would pray for Michelle to be able to live in a place of peace.

Thank you for being a part of our lives. We will definitely keep you all posted over the next weeks and months as to how we're doing.

m.